i am supposed to be ready for school by now. waiting for lesamu to call so that i can go out. hahah. its the start of school again! sad ah. for the past few days i have been having loads of fun with the people i didn't expect myself to hang out with. the basketball family eh. kah hwee, brian and wenqi. lol. and the 2 guys are not from my class somemore. sadded. ytd they went to play bball and i had to wake up late. hmm. it started out as a small dinner, then during the dinner, we planned stuff. and so we went kboxing after that. haha. yes man! kbox. so long nvr sing my lungs out ah. end up i was voiceless after singing only a few songs. terrible ah terrible. i used to be able to survive for at least 6 hours ah. then that day 4 hours become voiceless already. sobs.
ok. i feel sleepy. cuz i didn't sleep at all. stupid resubmission. eh. when is lesamu going to call. i want to sleep on the cab. and its stated 8.10am on my laptop. and yays. sakinah no need to fast already. =)

and so i am learning to not be so emo.

loves loves and more loves.
hot man!!!!!!!!

i think my hamster is pregnant. i think.

that skull with wings.

there is going to be a class gathering later at 2. hope everything goes out well, since i think the class seems to be falling apart. intuition.

dear god, the only thing i ask of u is to hold her when i am not around, when i am much to far away.

sigh. did i say? i love this song very very much. soft rock. and emo. haa. its like a plea to god, though i am not of any particular religion, it just seems like the only way i can talk when i feel terrible. to myself. i am turning emo. have i been saying that since a long time ago? i guess i did. nafa made me like this. i always feel that there are 2 sides of me. 1 side is the emo side, which always appears when i am so alone. like now. and the other side of me, is the one whom can cleverly hide how she always feels. the one whom always appear cheerful in front of others. and that is what u guys always see.

i feel so aimless now. what is my goal in life? to be just a good young lady? to get married, have kids, get old, and die? i don't know. it seems like there are so many things in life. so many things that i can't seem to achieve. so many things that seems so far away. dear god, please tell me what i should do. i am lonely and tired. i don't know what to do. Building and designing a home for my family had been my dream. but now, everything seems to be shattered. am i really suitable for this? am i? am i? alan ong told us in class today. almost half the class failed the assessment. guilt struck me immediately. i feel terrible and bad. i didn't finish my work. for the 1st time in my nafa life, i never finish my work. i don't want to revert back to the old me. the me that never complete all my schoolwork, cuz in the end, i will fail, and i wun be achieve what i want. i had that experience i must learn. i need to do my work promptly. i have to do my work promptly. But there is just this devil in me. the devil that stops my from achieving what i want. damn that devil. get out of my life. get out.

shihua, your life cant revolve only around facebook and... no no. do ur work please. do ur work.

DEAR GOD.

the thoughts running through my mind.

who will truely understand.

this is the worst time for me to blog yet. cuz next week is assessment week. BE PREPARED FOR SLEEPLESS NIGHTS SHIHUA!!! well. i actually already have sleepless nights. so. ya.

and so now, i am in school, trying to complete my residential display studio project. its a saturday people. SATURDAY!!! oh my frivolous goodness. why am i still in school at 6pm on a saturday!!!! congrats shihua for taking up such a tedious module. ahaha. anyways, i enjoyed the sleepless nights with my friends anyways.



i have been going home with lesamu and ahsakin this few days. the bukit panjang people. the cacat people. the mampat people. the kacak people. the cantik people. hahaha. whatever and anything. i go crazy with them. and therefore, there is another family tree thingy going on. and i have 2 daughters, one laoma, one laopa, and one daughter's father. hahah. its a weird thing i can still be enjoying such things at the age of 20. oh my banana's goodness. i think i am really going bonkers. lesamu and ahsakin have been overnighting at my house for 2 days. hehehe. tiring, and fun. i hate doing work alone at home, cuz i wun do anywork. so its either i do hw with them overnight, or i go school to do work. home is definitely not the best place to do work, cuz its a place full of distractions.

and so, i went holland v to meet up with fangz, xiaoying, and abi. i damn bimbo can! we were queueing up to withdraw money from the atm. and i stupidly went up to the UOB atm machine, when i am actually holding a DBS card. stupid. me. and next, i actually tripped over a little boy when walking along holland v. what the heck. how blur can i be? but after that, we had a nice meal, eating the wood baked pizzas. it was marvelicious. ^^ but then i realise, their topic and conversation is starting to differ from mine. is that a good thing, or is that a bad thing. i have been staying really quiet with them. i cant talk about what they are talking about. their school, business, law, universities, like it is totally not my world. hmmm. the only thing i can talk to them about is guys. and ya. guys. and so in front of them, i'll just behave like a stupid girl. how else can i act when i dun even know what they are talking about?

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and one last note. my hamsters are getting more pervertic everyday.

i know its not the latest news already but i still want to say.

THERE ARE 2 NEW MEMBERS IN MY FAMILY!!!! heehehehe. they are like so cute cans. i have been calling them winter and melon this few days but my sis and mom want to change their names. hmmm.



ytd, we had research seminar. Some ppl had to do public speaking at marina bay. phew. my turn is next week, so i get to see how others present first. it was sakin's turn to present ytd. she was nervous, and so was I. omg. i am scared. My public speaking is like next week and i am scared. hows hows. ouch. help me. ahh... should i do up my hair? at least style it a bit? i dunno... ouch again. ahhh!!!

i went to get myself a blazer for public speaking at jp today. waaa. i too chong dong already. i bought myself a not so bad looking blazer at wanko for 32 bucks. but after tt, i realise tt there was actually G2000 at jurong point. i went in and i super love one of the blazers!! the cutting is superb!!! though its 49 bucks, but i think tt its really worth the money! sian la. i regretted buying from wanko. but sigh. too bad.







LOL. be-spectacled.